Thursday, June 3, 2010

Introspection is something that I hate, because I get answers which I don’t want to hear. I was coming from a friend’s place today in an overcrowded local train. The sky was crimsoned by the assure of an impending rain, which failed to keep up its promise somehow at the end. The wind blew with all its might, slapping and teasing..the train moved on, catching up pace with my reflections... …..how we wait and expect, and wish that things would happen as we want them to take place. At the end, however, nothing turns out as anticipated. Still, still. Still, we dnt stop dreaming, expecting, wishing. I was waiting for a phone call all day. Or even a message at the moment. It din’t come. Yet, the wishes grew wings and went berserk flying everywhere. …….an old man sat in front . He was bare-footed and busy counting the few coins he had. Our train was running late and he had probably missed the last bus to the village he wanted to go.…the winds slapped and teased…my wishes flew…the man , nonchalant, unmindful, went on counting his Spartan treasure... …….a small girl sat somewhere near, who reminded me of myself as I was some 10-12 years ago. She had the same big eyes, eyes that always wondered, eyes that searched for answers which she never got, eyes that always water so easily, eyes that narrowed whenever a harsh gush of wind went slapping and teasing by… …….an urchin came up begging. She was around 7-8 summers old, carrying an infant close to her unripe breasts. She had a tattered cloth bag in one hand and a piece of paper in the other. The train racing forward misbalanced her every time she tried to move, yet she stirred forward refusing to stand still. The wind slapped and teased her as well, but then, her eyes never narrowed… …….the crimson sky, the promise of the rains that never came, the train and its mad mad mad motion, an old man with his fortune, eyes that were too big for answers, breasts that would be raped with time… everything seemed out of place…the salty aftertaste of weird thoughts slowly sealed off the everythings for me then …

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