Sunday, July 25, 2010

The teapot was left over the gas oven since hours now. The water swelled up trembling in the heat with overflowing urgency, spilling here and there, and finally disappearing into vapors of silken white fumes. She looked up towards him with eyes engorgement with grief and disbelieve. The little diamonds from her eyes tracked the trajectories of her soft cheeks, meeting somewhere below the chin. He looked down, the sagging shoulders of a once haughty man, making gloomy silhouettes on the wall behind him. Shafts of dusty sunlight trickled in, unhurriedly, nearly dragging itself into a room that smelled of stifled sobs and deafening sound of silence. She held up the thick dark sheet of black and shadowy-white x-ray plate against the reluctant sunrays to see two small brinjal shaped vague structures. “Grave basilar opacities in the lung,” she repeated to herself. Words that the doctor told her that morning. Advanced ‘pediatric pulmonary proteinosis’ is what they saw in front of them, against the reluctant dusty sunlight and lucklessly vaporized water in a tea pot... against the sagging shadows of a once lofty shoulder. A small girl slept, breathing noisily, the colour of her body slowly turning into the colour of the white bed sheet she lay on. She was dying. We all owe death a life. But the little angel paid her debt a bit too early. The empty red and white cigarette packets lay neglected inside drawers, under mattresses, around the house. He thought about his uncontrolled smoking habit and his insides filled with the ghosts of the fumes, which were taking away his daughter slowly. The angel was dying of passive smoking. The vapour from the teapot, still on fire, made faces and said, “you always were a heartless man.” It sighed and then turned back into smoke again, sticking its tongue out at him.
I am participating in the WeBlog's Sleepy Sunday contest! You may read other participating posts HERE

17 comments:

TurbulentMind said...

amazing..wow..no words otherwise..

Jaspreet said...

Wonderfully put!...The description of feelings and the message that you've given using such few words is amazing!

"just a pen in my hand" said...

oh ! tat was touching...really nice expression...lovely words...truly heart felt...all te best...keep up te good work !

Someone is Special said...

"Awesome", I have no other words to say how beautifully you have written... Great..

I wish you a good luck for WeBlog Sleepy Sunday Contest - I

Saravana Kumar - Last Wish

Yours Frendly,
Saravana Kumar M

Corinne Rodrigues said...

A great read..and with a very telling message too.

Avi said...

WOWWW. The way you've managed to convey so much in so little speaks a lot about your abilities.

A commendable job! Keep writing :)
All the best!

Hasan Zia said...

a great blend of words.well crafted.
All the best!~!

Sundeep said...

the message was brought out in a bang...

shail said...

Well written story and with a message too.

Ipsita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Romeo Das said...

It was really a nice read Ipsita. You have beautifully penned down the emotions. Looking forward for more such posts in future from you.

All the best for WeBlog Sleepy Sunday Contest - I :)
Romeo

Ipsita said...

i smile.
thnx a lot for going through my post.:))

Paul Swendson said...

Would be a great anti-smoking advertisement. Good job.

Rocksa said...

Hello Ipsita,

Thank you so much for sharing this! My reaction to the post was a 'gasp' followed by a 'sigh'!

Hope the smokers learn a lesson or two reading this!(High hopes you say?Addictions I tell you!)

I love the way you narrate! Awesome. I will definitely come back to read your other posts!

I see a 'novelist-in-the-making' :) Good Luck! Cheers! :)

PS: Lovely template :)

Moonbeam said...

Very eloquent! That was poetry disguised as prose :) Not a word less, not a word more! Excellent writing!

Unknown said...

Good God! You just ripped my heart out! My heart still aches.
What a deserving post! And I hope to hell it is not a true story! I hope!

Hugs
Hiyaa
http://www.thedefinitivemeltingpot.com

deepa kashyap said...

Nice write up :)
well done , loved it :)

all the best for contest !

Listen to your heart !!