Thursday, April 14, 2011

Studying, whatever I study, has made me aware of my own bodily presence a lot. I can almost feel my right ventricle contracting, now my blood is in the pulmonary truck, here it’s going to the lungs and now, just now, its back through the veins. Here my diastole starts and now, yes exactly now, my aorta has got its share of the scarlet fluid flowing. I can sense my bile travel through my CBD, here it enters my ampulla of vater and now my peristalsis does start again. I can hear the air pass through my trachea and bronchus with my tragus pressed, I can feel both the waves of my pulse against my neck wrist arm leg, I can make out my tympanic membrane vibrate while I click-click-click on the keyboard today. Love is no more about beating hearts and bleeding red then. It’s about a frontal lobe in the head. I don’t find your touch dissolving my skin anymore, Its just my spinothalamic tract in place. All the non-verbal memory, all the faces, shapes and music, were nothing more than a temporal lobe in the cage. Where’s the soul then??? Where are all the prayers and smells? Why couldn’t we be just empty bodies with a white soul in between?? The colour may change, but the basic packaging could have been the same. Why did we have to have blood and organs and then all of them failing one day?? We could have been like one of those health drink packages. One decorative carton on the exterior, and a plain unassuming sachet of contents inside. That would be it and we would be sorted. The soul doesn't die. The body does shrivel. Then why is all the anatomical and pathological detailing around the withering tissues alone? Why can’t the soul contain the veins and nerves and blood and sweat, which it could take on with it in the next life, and then to the next and so on, forever?? Why does my brain have to die and my arteries slashed and burnt someday? We can’t be only anatomy and physiology and biochemistry now and then logs and wood and ashes one day. I don’t want to dissolve this way. Will I have to live ceaselessly confined amongst these nondescript words in a Google blogger after my body decays, with no soul to part ways at the end?

4 comments:

Rupsayar Das said...

You know what? I think u'r in the wrong profession. If u'd ask me, I'd say u ought to be a New-Wave film-maker. :) Think about it. :)

reetam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
reetam said...

desolate.
utterly depressing.
breathtakingly beautiful :)

Saikat said...

look at the wavy torrentz which blew past you! Felt the pain all the way down uttering an overwhelming sound...