Bring out a pan. Slash my wrist first…. I know it’ll pain, but I'm used to getting hurt now. Pour out all my blood into the bowl. It won’t take time. I am anaemic, so there’s not much of it. Next nibble out my eyes…. It’ll still have tears that have dried inside. Clean the eyelids, pluck out the eyelashes. Rip off my ears…it has heard a lot…much more than it can bear. I’ll have my beloved earrings on….plz don’t throw it away. Put it up for sale as all my dreams have been sold. Chop up my fingers…the same fingers that allowed all the loved times to slip through it…. hey stop…it hurts….bit by bit….you’ll find a pearl and an amethyst ring…..don’t take it away. ..Maa gave it to me years ago…..return it to her draped in my garments which still stomach my smell. Cut open my body. Take out my stomach…it has undigested words in it…..expressions that were too strong to be absorbed….. Next seize my liver….it will weigh you down…..its congested with human venom….all the hatred, all the indictments, all the condemnations….its still in there…. please wear gloves….you may get tainted with all the anguish hiding inside….my body reeks of poison. Ohhh….you forgot my lips…I know its pale and ugly……people said I was fake…beauty was an illusion….mince it into pieces gently….u’ll find unarticulated unsaid words somewhere here…..the letters are in hiding…they are afraid to be exposed…but never mind….may be now they’ll be expressed. Ohhh…don’t eavesdrop on what they are trying to say….you won’t believe them anyway. Slit my throat…..lumped up emotions will stare back at you vulnerably…..they were never allowed to come out….ages of enslavement has anaesthetized them….give them some space…my emotions need space…move away....feelings are fragile….. Finally…take out my heart…I know it’s badly bruised…. You’ll find stitches…and then wounds…and then stitches again….it was mended n re-mended n re-re-mended many a time…..slice it into pieces tenderly… its still beating…..the arteries will be clogged with murk and veins with the gloom’s shadow….but never mind….do it quickly… Blend everything with a clean spoon….I don’t want myself to be trodden down with grime anymore. Microwave it for years….slowly….turn on the grill as well….let me be smoldered red…..dead and shrunk….. Do you believe in spirits??....well….I am one now…..ohhh….you don’t look sad…your eyes…they are happy….your happiness hurts me the most….it is my only defeat...... my only pain as my essence lives on till infinity……