Yesterday was my birthday……. Dear 19th Feb. 2009, u sucked. My exams just got over and each one of them was worse than the other. I don’t know how I consistently manage to do so poorly in exams each and every time. Lady luck has left my side and God knows what she’ll take to cum back one last time. After slogging on and on with books for weeks, when you get lectured by teachers for your attitude or your accent or your handwriting, it really hurts. Anway, my bday was very very drab this year. My temper was awful and I ended up doing nothing the entire day. Loads of people wished me this time and I hate them for it. I hardly wish anybody on their bdays or rather barely remember anybody’s bday other than my own. I hate people around me…I know I shouldn’t talk like this...but I cant make out what’s happening to me. I know all my friends are better than me, better human beings with better lives to live..... better reasons to smile... and better bdays to celebrate. San I hate you coz I know u love me a lot but may be I have never been able to reciprocate the same feeling that well…..Shr I hate you coz I will never posses the charm that you hold…..Nil I hate you coz I can never support someone as u have done to me…..Kaus I hate you coz you have always been so good and I have never been so…..Pri I hate you coz your advices that I never follow always prove to be correct….Pi I hate you coz you’ve been in such a beautiful relationship since years and yet appear so much in love even today…..I hate everyone around……I hate my teddy who always has that fixed smile stiched on it…..I hate the men who sat beside me in the ladies compartment of the local train yesterday, with lust in their eyes and playing cards in their hands…..I hate the blue colored houses lining the railway tracks as they appear so much at peace with themselves…..I hate the fire that’s lit in the winters by the roadside coz it can burn and char and end so much with it…..I hate the sound of the 1st rains as it always brings loneliness and a nonexisting nostalgia with it….I hate the dogs in the streets who have all the freedom that I will never have in life….I hate the night coz I know its more beautiful than me….. I hate myself….my psyche.....my soul… and the Satan that's hiding within….