I wish I could leave every thought behind and just go to bed without tears, fights…. as if nothing really happened minutes ago. I wish I could have my pimples on and still not fret and cry and urgently try to cover them up every time I stepped outside my home. I wish I didn’t have years and years of studies still left, to be “secure” in life….established…and, well, ”happy”. I wish I could have more of you. Everywhere. Within me. Behind. Beside. I wish I could let my hair down and puff away tiny circles of depressions…biding it goodbye….watching the bareness tip-toe away, silently.Feel secure in its distant friendship...smoked rings just smiling away. I wish you stayed on, even after conversations ended….even after phone lines got disconnected. I wish it would be over. The explanations, heart aches, reasons. I wish I could laze around the entire day, watching the clouds drift, watching the world move, watching your cat sleep. I wish I could treat myself alone in the brightest corner of a CCD, and still not feel out of place. I wish I could make paper boats and march around your city looking for lakes where they could sail. I wish I had never held your hand and lived dreamy poems. Wake up alarms are my pests today. I wish my last crush would’ve got a girlfriend with a better face. I wish I could find the diary with my 1`st written poem in it or the diary with my last story, about thin rimmed glasses and red tee-shirts and distant gazes.*blink blink* i wish I could still sound beautiful.In every frothy sugery way, still blush and giggle and tease and make people drool. I wish you were near, and then, I could just live on. I wish I was happy…..sigh but still be happy.