What if we had a button that could shut off the entire world for us whenever we wanted! It would depend on us, when and where we wanted to meet such-and-such people and how. I know it sounds like an escapist, but wanting-to-be-lost is the word I prefer for it. Sounds almost swish, makes me feel less confused. I hate doing things and meeting people I don’t like. Being civil and cordial to such people is one thing but being nice to them is something different. It freaks me out so much, and people see no sense in that. Sigh! On the other hand, there are certain things that are so re-assuring in this word. Like ma’s bangles. Her smell. Like the first sunrays through the blue curtains in my room. Like baba moving around the house pretending to be so busy. Like a long phone call. Like P’s hands. Like your chlormint breath. Like being loved. I like the sound of how you spell mosquito in Bengali. Rolling your lips at ‘O’. Or how my English book of class two still appears like it looked one and a half decades ago. or how breaking friendships and breaking fingernails sound similar now.