The world around can pretend so convincingly. They flash those practiced smiles and rehearsed praises without meaning a thing that they say. Here people are said to be “good” only if they exhibit an outward posturing of love and care. People love to marvel at the make-believe persona of losers with the mask of sainthood on display. We live and we breathe, we love and we ditch, we hurt and we heal, we fall and we seize, without knowing why…. but go on repeating the same things in the same order every time …living our lives behind emotions never allowed to come out, with expressions never let away, with love never spoken about. All of us, ordinary faces living ordinary lives, traveling in ordinary roads, standing in ordinary queues, laughing at ordinary jokes, fabricating ordinary lies but dreaming out of the ordinary dreams….of happiness…of freedom....of liberation. We've got caught in this sadistic snare of surviving each day, with the pretense of being happy, that our survival stories don’t fetch audience anymore. This ignorant existence of people around and our frantic efforts to place ourselves somewhere in their imaginary worlds of sycophancies make us phony even more. ….and here my failure hides....I fail miserably every time I try and fake. People don’t appear familiar anymore….well-known faces have hidden intentions…..I’m losing myself to this artificiality slowly but steadily….I’m forgetting who I am….I was a struggler….a survivor…a daughter….a friend…a lover…a protester….a sister…a dreamer….an escaper before…but molded into just another ordinary actor with untrained acting skills thereafter….